


When We Touch

by Carmenlire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Established Relationship, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, POV Alternating, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 21:48:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15872382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: Magnus had taught him just how much he craved physical affection. Magnus’s touch could bring him down, sweep him high. He’d learned how sensitive he could be, how soothing a hand in his hair could be.Thankfully, Magnus seemed to enjoy it just as much. He touched Alec absently but there was always an undercurrent of purpose. They were to the stage where casual touches were familiar, commonplace. That didn’t mean Magnus didn’t crave that connection just as much, that Alec had somehow grown immune.Or, touch-starved malec.





	When We Touch

He never thought that it would affect him so much. When he was walking around the city, he scoffed at the couple who felt the need to publicly display their relationship status. He’d be a little confused and a lot annoyed. Holding hands was trivial. Didn’t their hands get sweaty? Didn’t they feel on display?

No, Alec’s always thought that the simple act of holding hands was a sham. It was a thing couples did because they felt they had to.

He didn’t know.

He can admit now that some of his hesitancy, some of his disdain was pure envy. He never thought he’d get to have that and it stuck in his craw every time he had to watch someone else, strangers, have something he’d never be allowed.

He couldn’t have known how much a simple gesture would fill him with peace.

Having Magnus so near-- maintaining that point of contact-- shimmers through him. Their hands are warm, but not sweaty, and it’s familiar. It’s like having a piece of home with him.

They're at an indie bookstore, a place that claims to have been open since the Revolutionary War. Neither can attest to the bold claim but whatever its past, the bookstore is a favorite haunt of theirs. Whenever they can, Magnus and Alec like to spend a slow Saturday morning meandering through the aisles, browsing with the coffees they order in the cafe towards the back.

It’s a blustery November day, the sky steel grey and the smell of snow strong. They’d walked through the doors just as the first flakes had begun to fall, holding hands.

As soon as they’d started their walk to the store, Alec had reached over, grabbing Magnus’s hand, entwining their fingers. Magnus let him, a small smile on his face.

He never said anything but Magnus was endlessly delighted that Alec was so physically demonstrative. He hadn’t expected that from the stalwart, stubborn shadowhunter who had stolen his heart.

Alec’s focused on the feel of Magnus’s hand in his as they look at the range of books, occasionally taking a sip of their drinks.

He knows now that it’s not a need to flaunt a relationship that motivates a couple to hold hands. It’s the feeling of security, of warmth, that flows through him that has him constantly reaching for Magnus. Whether it’s in the Institute, on a date, or just grocery shopping, Alec is caught in Magnus’s orbit, hopelessly attuned to him and it seems a natural extension that he’d want the physical connection.

When Magnus drops his hand, reaching for a book that’s caught his eye, Alec misses his touch immediately. Fortunately, he sees a re-released edition of one of his favorite anthologies and gets lost in browsing for awhile.

After an hour in the cozy bookshop, they pay for their purchases, drinks long discarded.

Carrying the bag with one hand, Alec snags Magnus’s hand with the other, pulling him back until they’re in step.

Eyes laughing, Magnus says, “You do like having me close, don’t you?”

Alec’s lips quirk up even as he murmurs, “You know it.”

The two of them walk out of the shop and down the street, hand in hand. Alec doesn’t even feel anyone’s eyes, too focused on Magnus-- his smile as he tells a story, the adorable way he’s bundled up in his coat, the warm connection between them.

Alec loves holding Magnus’s hand. It’s a simple gesture but it means so much. It means more than he could’ve known to share something so absent with his boyfriend.

It’s another sign that Magnus completes him, has completely changed him.

 

Magnus wakes up to a face full of hair. He wrinkles his nose, shifting slightly under gold sheets. Alec moves too, rubbing his cheek on Magnus’s chest before settling back down. 

Looking down, Magnus’s breath catches. Jesus Christ, he never gets used to it. He’d gone so long without anybody to warm his bed-- no one that mattered, no one that wanted to stay-- that he still can’t quite believe that he gets to have this.

He gets a shadowhunter, Alec, in his bed and in his heart.

Magnus has a prolific past. He makes no apologies-- he’d had a damned good time. But, this was what he’d been missing for so long.

Sex is fun and dirty and Magnus loves it. He also loves this- waking up to someone, knowing the familiar cadence of their snores and the way they look when the morning light streams through the curtains. 

He loves being able to study and observe his partner in a quiet moment that is impossible when both parties are trying to make a hasty yet dignified exit.

That’s something that comes from a relationship and before Alexander, it’d been almost two hundred years since he’d had that, since he’d permitted himself the luxury. 

As he lays on his back, Magnus moves a hand to Alec’s hair and sifts softly through the dark locks that are especially messy so early in the day. His mouth is parted and Magnus feels his breath against his chest.

It’s warm and familiar. They’ve woken up this way a hundred times and will a million more and Magnus closes his eyes as he lets Alec’s weight sink into him. 

He playfully gripes and mockingly glares but Magnus loves being surrounded by Alec. His boyfriend is a fucking octopus but Magnus can’t get enough. He likes being pressed down, he likes waking up smelling Alec’s shampoo, he likes that Alec feels comfortable enough to let down his guard. He looks years younger in sleep and Magnus is the only one privileged enough to see it.

It’s not something that he thinks about often but Magnus reflects now that he is a very tactile person. As the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he can be cold and sardonic but for his inner circle, he likes the casual hugs and kisses in greeting.

With Alec, he likes holding hands and quiet mornings and being together in all the simple ways being a couple allows. Alec is the only person allowed in his apothecary when he’s working and it’s soothing, Alec reading a book in the corner, quietly watching him as Magnus works through a to-do list.

Magnus’s eyes flutter open as he feels Alec move, feels lips against his chest, an open-mouthed kiss on his sternum.

“Morning, baby,” Alec rasps, voice deliciously hoarse from sleep.

Humming, Magnus says, “Morning, darling.”

He smiles as Alec’s face tilts up and he shuffles until he’s hovering over Magnus. His cheeks are flushed, there’s a crease on his cheek, his eyes are soft.

Magnus’s chest aches. He looks like home.

Wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck, Magnus brings him down for a lingering kiss. Nothing heated, just warm contact to start the day.

It grounds him in the best possible way and Magnus knows he would do anything-- _anything_ \-- to keep this feeling alive in his chest.

 

Alec’s a shadowhunter born and raised. He’s a soldier, a warrior, and he has a reputation to uphold as one of the best in his generation.

He likes his image, has worked tediously and tremendously to carve it into stone. He’s unflappable, derisive, a worst enemy.

He also likes having his hair played with. 

It’s a Wednesday evening and Alec and Magnus are watching a movie. It’s mostly background noise, Alec hardly paying attention as he lays on Magnus. His fingers are bare and carefully glide through his hair, scratching softly as his scalp.

He hums, content, and wiggles even closer to his boyfriend. He’s seconds from falling asleep but he doesn’t want to quite yet. He’s enjoying this in between space where he’s drifting with only Magnus to ground him.

It strikes him that before Magnus, he rarely touched anyone unless it was in combat, the occasionally absent hug from Izzy, a clap on the shoulder from Jace.

Alec always thought that he wasn’t very tactile. He didn’t like people in his personal space, it actively annoyed him when people touched him so casually.

He was not their friend. They had no right.

He’s realized how wrong he was. While Alec still maintained his concrete-edged personal bubble, Magnus was forever included in that.

Magnus had taught him-- or not so much taught, but he’d opened Alec’s eyes-- to just how much he craved physical affection. Magnus’s touch could bring him down, sweep him high. He’d learned how sensitive he could be, how soothing a hand in his hair could be.

Thankfully, Magnus seemed to enjoy it just as much. He touched Alec absently but there was always an undercurrent of purpose. They were to the stage where casual touches were familiar, commonplace. That didn’t mean Magnus didn’t crave that connection just as much, that Alec had somehow grown immune.

He snorts. As if that was even possible.

“What was that, darling,” Magnus asks, fingers stilling.

Alec grumbles. His eyes are closed and it seems an unimaginable tragedy that Magnus has stopped his ministrations.

Moving as little as possible, Alec reaches up and taps the back of Magnus’s hand.

“I just like when you do that,” he mutters.

He hears the smile in Magnus’s voice as he resumes running careful fingers through Alec’s hair. “I would never have guessed,” he teases.

Alec melts against him and Magnus hums, widening his legs a little bit more.

The two of them lay on the couch, happy as the spring air blows gently through the open french doors. It’s quiet joy but no less profound that they can share an evening together uninterrupted.

It used to surprise him, how quickly he submitted when Magnus took off his rings and started playing with his hair. He’d tried to act unaffected at first, like he wasn’t literally melting, sinking into Magnus into a warm but satisfied pile of goo. Magnus had granted no quarter though. Once, early in their relationship, Alec had actually whined when he’d stopped. Magnus had frozen before chuckling.

“There’s no need to pretend you’re above such things, Alec,” Magnus had murmured. “It’s expected that there might be some physical affection in a relationship, darling, and I promise that I love it. There’s no need to act tough with me.”

With that reminder, Alec shuffles a little, rubbing his cheek on Magnus’s shirt, breathing in sandalwood. He falls asleep with the movie still droning in the background and Magnus’s hands in his hair.

 

He’s exhausted and a little stupid with it. It’s been a long time since he’s felt sleep dragging at his heels, plucking at his very bones. He wants a horizontal surface and his goddamn boots off.

Magnus is standing by the door staring blankly at his shoes when footsteps pierce through the fog.

“Babe?”

He knows that voice and when Alec is less than a foot away, Magnus lets himself sway into his chest, resting his cheek against Alec’s heart.

Alec’s arms come up, hands clasping at the small of Magnus’s back and Magnus turns boneless.

“Hey,” his boyfriend says. His tone is amused, though there’s an undercurrent of worry. “Everything okay?”

Magnus hums, closing his eyes and breathing in the smell of Alec’s-- of their-- body wash. He must’ve just come from the shower.

“I didn’t really sleep last night and I had a dozen appointments today. My magic is running a little low and I’m tired as shit.”

Alec makes a soothing noise and sweeps a hand up and down Magnus’s back in broad strokes.

Distantly, he thinks he could fall asleep like this, standing up. It’s been so long since he had someone to come home to, someone who worried and cared for him.

He doesn’t think anyone has ever cared for him as deeply, as intensely, as Alec.

He has no idea how long they stand in the foyer before Alec takes a slow step backwards. Magnus follows on autopilot, itching for Alec’s warmth, his scent, his everything.

He’s a little delirious in his exhaustion but he’d know Alec anywhere and he wants to keep him close.

Alec huffs out a laugh and takes another step back. Magnus begrudgingly follows and their slow dance ends in their bedroom. Magnus peels his clothes off through sheer stubborn will. Left in just his underwear, Alec guides him to the bathroom. He props Magnus up on the edge of the sink.

Reluctantly, Magnus opens his eyes. His magic is thrumming through his system, faint but steady and he knows he just needs twelve hours to knock the fuck out and he’d be rejuvenated.

To be honest, he’s getting a little peeved that Alec is keeping him from bed. He just wants to fall into their sheets with Alec wrapped around him but no. He’s standing in the bathroom like a fucking fool.

His facial expressions must make his thoughts obvious and Alec just shakes his head as he opens the mirrored cabinet and grabs the makeup wipes.

He takes one out, unfolding it, and urges Magnus to close his eyes. As if he needed to be told twice.

He barely feels it as Alec starts slowly sweeping the wipe over his face. Starting with his cheeks, forehead, he wipes off foundation and highlighter. He grabs another and starts gently wiping away at the heavy eye makeup, the eye shadow and liner and hint of mascara.

Magnus relaxes into the steady rhythm. The bathroom is quiet, still except for the two of them and he sinks into the feeling. He can’t quite remember anyone else ever taking such time, showing such patience for him.

Magnus takes care of everyone else and he’d gotten used to being left out in the cold. Not to say that he didn’t have friends or others’ casual disregard didn’t occasionally sting. But, he was Magnus Bane and didn’t let it get to him. Too much, at least.

But with Alec, everything is different. Alec never needs to be asked, he is always there for Magnus, often before Magnus even knows what it is that he needs. Magnus knows it’s rare to find that kind of love, that strong of a bond.

Alec finishes taking off the makeup and Magnus’s eyes slowly open after a minute goes by and Alec doesn’t move.

He sees Alec watching him silently. His gaze roves over Magnus’s face, his thumb brushing against a brow.

“Beautiful,” he whispers.

Magnus smiles a little as he shakes his head, marveling at Alec’s words even as he denies them. He knows he’s attractive, has worked it to his advantage plenty in both business and pleasure. But Alec makes him feel fragile when he says that kind of stuff and he still doesn’t know how to handle it, even after years.

Alec doesn’t say anything else, just whisks Magnus to bed. Magnus falls face forward with a groan and Alec climbs in beside him. After a minute, his hand starts inching towards where Alec is laying entirely too away. He hits Alec’s side.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Come closer, Alexander,” Magnus says, voice slurring with his exhaustion.

He hears Alec laugh but he’s moving so Magnus doesn’t hold it against him. In the next moment, Alec is surrounding Magnus, his chest to Magnus’s back, radiating heat. It’s comforting and exactly what he needed after a tedious day and night running around like a banshee. That skin to skin contact warms Magnus to his bones, to his very soul.

Magnus relaxes, finally, falling asleep in seconds.

 

Fucking goddamn demons. They never know when to quit.

Alec grits his teeth as he hobbles into the Institute infirmary. A demon claw had pierced his thigh and he’s three seconds from screaming bloody murder, iratzes be damned. His entire lower body feels like it’s on fire and it just plain _hurts_.

Jace is on one side, Izzy on the other and Alec feels himself drop. It doesn’t go on long enough for it to be the floor so Alec assumes that he’s on one of the hospital beds.

He shifts, wincing, and wishes to hell he had left his office just five minutes earlier so he wouldn’t have been roped into the mission tonight.

The medics work for a few minutes and Alec goes in and out of consciousness in the meanwhile. He knows the injury isn’t fatal or anything close to it-- it’s a standard injury that’ll hurt until he gets some goddamn drugs in his system and will be a minor irritant by tomorrow morning. The poison from the claw is mostly harmless and just another annoyance on top of a shitty day.

He doesn’t know how long it is before he surfaces again, with one clear thought.

“I want Magnus,” he grits out, groaning low as the medics start prodding the wound.

Izzy’s sweeps a hand down his arm as she says, “I know, _hermano_. We called him and he should be here--”

“Now. I’m here now, darling.”

Magnus strides down the aisle between beds right to Alec, ignoring everything else in his vision except for his boyfriend, pale and bleeding and crying out for him. His eyes stray to the wound and he winces even as he reaches out. One hand buries itself in Alec’s hair while the other cups his cheek.

Alec settles down almost immediately upon feeling Magnus. It’s not that his leg doesn’t still feel like it’s being poked at with hot, rusty spikes but now he has something else to focus on.

“Magnus,” he murmurs, eyes closed.

He feels Magnus leaning close and latches onto him as a point of contact, an eye of a storm.

“I’m right here, Alexander. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Missed you,” he slurs, drugs finally taking effect.

He feels remarkably improved in minutes. Not that he isn’t still aware that he’s in the infirmary and that he was cursing like a sailor just a short while ago, but that’s in the past.

Now, as the pain-relievers do their job, he feels like he’s floating and the only thing keeping him grounded is Magnus’s hands.

Now that the pain isn’t taking his every thought, his brain gets a little clearer. He ruminates that before Magnus he would’ve suffered in stoic silence or would’ve swore until the air was blue. No one would be allowed to touch him except a passing gesture of comfort from Iz or Jace drawing an iratze.

Alec is well aware that Magnus has changed him and this is just one of the million ways that he’s done so. Magnus is comfort in all its incarnations and Alec will never stop craving him, no matter if it’s after a mission gone wrong or when he stubs his toe.

Alec doesn’t know how long he lets himself float along before a voice brings him back. He doesn’t want to surface but he’ll never ignore that particular voice.

“Darling, can you open your eyes for me? We need to ask a few questions.”

Alec doesn’t quite understand what the voice wants but it’s Magnus so he turns his head, nuzzling into the palm still on his cheek.

“Love you,” he murmurs.

Magnus hums and there’s a smile in his voice as he says, “I love you too, Alexander. Can you open your eyes for me?”

This time he deciphers the words and a frown starts marring his brow. “I’m tired,” he complains.

Magnus’s thumb never stops running across his cheekbone as he replies, “I know and this will only take a minute. For me?”

Well, shit, that’s something Alec can’t say no to.

It’s more effort than it’s worth in Alec’s opinion, but he pries his eyes open, wincing at the bright lights of the infirmary. They’re ruining the pleasant fuzziness in his head.

Magnus’s wide smile makes up for it. A little.

“There we go,” he whispers.

The medics ask him a few questions, usually more than once. Alec tells them an abbreviated version of what happened, they test the sensation in his leg and tell him his prognosis for the next twenty four hours.

Alec doesn’t really care. He just wants to sleep.

They finally leave and Alec turns to look at Magnus.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, matter of fact.

Magnus’s lips quirk. “Thank you, love. You’re high on pain medication.”

Alec blinks slowly, raising an arm until he can place it on the back of Magnus’s neck. “Yeah, but I still love you and you’re still the handsomest man I’ve ever met.”

Magnus takes a quick look around the infirmary, insuring that that they’re alone, before he lets his glamour drop. Alec gasps a little and smiles like an idiot. 

Magnus laughs even as softens. Alec’s reaction will never not affect him.

“I’ll make you a deal, love. You sleep for a few hours and then I’ll let you ramble however long you like?”

Alec thinks it over, though it doesn’t seem like he’s firing on all cylinders. “But I want to talk now.”

Grinning, Magnus says, “I know but you also need to rest. Take it or leave it.”

Finally, Alec agrees. “But only if you sleep with me.”

“Alec, that’s a twin bed and you’re a giant. There’s no way we’re sleeping in the same bed tonight.”

“I don't care. That just means we’ll have to get close,” he leers.

Magnus sighs, looking dreadfully put upon though there’s a smile lurking on his lips. “I’ve created a monster,” he mutters.

He does get up, though. He gently widens the bed a foot or so. This way, Alec doesn’t have to move and aggravate his injury and Magnus has a little room to maneuver. He takes off his jewelry, shrugging out of his jacket and slipping out of his shoes.

He climbs into the bed that’s hard as a torture rack and inwardly sighs. It’s going to be a long night.

Alec, however, is content. Magnus is obviously going to sleep with him and he can’t even feel his leg at this point.

Magnus doesn’t let him move, placing a hand on his chest when he’s about to shuffle. “Don’t, darling. Stay still.”

Alec listens and Magnus moves until he’s on his side facing him, arm over his waist. They’re as close as they can be for the night and Alec’s eyes close again, partly in relief but mostly because he’s exhausted.

“Sleep, Alexander. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Alec hears the words as he sinks into the feeling of Magnus so close to him. Nothing seems quite so bad with his boyfriend next to him.

He has a minute to think absently, _the infirmary is so much better with Magnus_ , before he falls asleep.

Magnus, for his part, doesn’t sleep. He watches Alec, watches over Alec, for the night. He kisses his shoulder, runs gentle hands over his chest, and lets out a breath every now and then.

While Alec was adorable hopped up on pain pills, he was also a menace and this wasn’t the first time he’d rushed to the infirmary after a grim phone call.

He needed the contact just as much as Alec. To know that he was safe, that he was alive.

Magnus stays sentry as the shadows grow long and Alec dreams.

 

Oh, how Magnus has missed this.

It’s a rainy Sunday and the two of them are on the couch, cuddling. Magnus is a very physically affectionate person but it’s been ages since he had an outlet, someone who he could shower in incidental touches and share hours of silence with.

He likes his fair share of alone time, has learned how valuable it can be and knows how necessary it is whenever one has grown to be over four hundred years old.

But this is infinitely better.

They’re lying on the couch, facing each other, and Alec’s face is tucked into his neck. He’s in one of his ancient hoodies and a pair is sweatpants and Magnus is wearing something similar. It’s a cozy afternoon and the two of them don’t have any appointments for the day, or into late tomorrow.

It’s just them and the sound of thunder in the distance. Magnus hooks a leg over Alec’s hip and Alec hums, burrowing deeper.

“You’re so comfortable,” he mutters, running his nose along Magnus’s throat.

Magnus chuckles. “Right back at you darling," he whispers.

No time with Alec is ever wasted. These moments are some of the first that Magnus imprinted when they got together.

Alec loves cuddling, another surprise that had both shocked and delighted Magnus. Magnus had worried, agonized, in previous relationships that he was too much-- too clingy, too needy, altogether more invested than his partner.

But with Alec, that’d gone out the window quick. They were in tune with PDA and affection behind closed doors. Alec loved the errant contact and deliberate time spent with each other and every time they do this-- which is several times a week-- they both sink into it, tensions easing.

They can just be together and it’s one of the most beautiful things that Magnus has been allowed.

Magnus is anchored by Alec’s touch. He’s a long line against him and Magnus feels their heartbeats sync, slow yet steady.

Magnus has had relationships for centuries. There was a time no contact was allowed at all except for a gloved hand or hidden embrace. But in the past few decades, it had been hard to be bombarded with the casual intimacy that couples display constantly and not feel an ache in his chest.

He has Alec now, though, and everything is brighter with him. His hugs are the best in the world and the way he seeks out Magnus, absently, on autopilot fills with him with warmth.

There’s a difference between sex and intimacy. While Magnus loves sex with Alec-- hot and fast or slow and lingering-- he also enjoys these moments that he’d gone so long without.

Alec’s the beat of his heart, the hope in his chest.

Magnus swims in the in between space, not sleeping but infinitely close. He wants to hang on to this moment for just a little longer.

Always just a little longer.

Smiling, he leans forward and kisses Alec on top of his head. Alec hums, moves closer.

Magnus shakes his head in wonder and lets his eyes close. 

He’ll hang on to this with everything he has.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr @carmenlire :)


End file.
